are you really from the corn fields of ohio?

yes, children of the corn is actually my biopic.

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what's it like living in a swing state?

who told you ohio is a swing state, bro.

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gay rights?

gay rights.

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trans rights?

trans rights.

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where can i buy your book?

well, first, you'll need to ask your editor friend to buy it. and then in, like, 2-3 years (maybe?) you can get it from it from your favorite local indie book store like The Book Loft or Prologue Bookshop or Cover to Cover Children's Books. you know, assuming the human race doesn't succumb to climate change by then.

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wow, why so dark?

if that was too dark you, you're definitely not gonna want to read my book.

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where do you get the inspiration for your incredible tiktoks?

i think you're confusing me for hank green. it's a common mistake, tbh.